Paraphrasing their words and confirming with “did I understand that correctly?” is a sign of understanding and lets the employee speaking feel heard. If you feel the need to validate the information provided, respond with “Based on what you said, this is what I am understanding, is that right?” Listen to the words spoken rather than waiting for your chance to respond. A key phrase here is “help me understand what you mean when you say (insert whatever their question is here).” Instead of feeling attacked, take a page out of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and seek to understand. Create a standing ground rule that allows your people to ask questions and raise challenges without feeling like they will be penalized. Many times, we can make quick decisions that someone isn’t a team player, isn’t a good fit, or is a problem child based on asking a single question that triggers the leader. Here’s a 4-step process to objectively evaluate whether an employee is actually undermining your authority: Assume good intent I invite you to consider that different viewpoints may actually help you do better work and create more buy-in with your team. The more senior and dynamic your team is, the more questions will come up, and critical thinking should be celebrated. They also are not acquiesced easily and want to understand the deeper motivation. They disrupt the groupthink phenomenon and ask questions like ‘why are we doing this’. High performance workplaces nurture those who challenge the status quo. They begin with the idea of seeking to understand, rather than rushing to conclusions. True leaders take a moment to consider the root cause of the question. Managers issue quick summary judgments, and end up in their HR office talking about the undermining of their authority. Managers and leaders respond differently to this kind of situation. When we pull back the curtain a little further, we see that there is usually more to the story than meets the eye. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dealt with managers and leaders who moan that members of their team are undermining their authority, making snap judgments, and saying things like those who ask questions aren’t a good fit for their team. If you want to appraise a leader, watch how they respond when someone challenges their thinking, decisions, and overall authority.
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